Bismillah Ar-Rahman Ar-Rahim
Parenting in Islam towers beyond giving birth and manumiting children. It cuts across mid-wifing all necessary nurturing, training and mentoring. It starts from home but transcends its border to include monitoring of most things done by children and wards in schools and outside world. Islam is described as a complete way of life.
Giving children and wards amiable ways to follow informs the notion of being on a perfect mode of living portrayed in the Glorious Quran. Allah (SWT) declares: "This is indeed a perfect way and you should follow it, and disregard other (shallow) ways lest you are scattered from Allah's prescribed way." This shows that training children and wards in Islamic way puts them on better pedestal to success here and in the hereafter.
To this end, what is wrong with contemporary parents who fail in most responsibilities of spiritual training of children and wards? Some parents tip-toe across sleeping family members while going for Subh prayer without waking them for the same purpose. The magnitude of instructing children to observe Salat at seven and alightly scolding them at ten contained in the Hadith of the noble Messenger has been under estimated. This is, however, detrimental to the holistic development of children who soon leave home to pursue studies and career development in places more volatile that respective homes. Building resilience in children and wards to manage challenges and onslaughts out there is Integral to parenting afterall.
What is witnessed today on Campuses and other societies due to challenges of automation and technolcogical inclinations reflects potential affronts for most spiritual ill-cooked children and wards to succumb to pressure of irreligiosity at the minimal exposure to places outside their formal abode. Lots of this occur daily on Campuses and it takes special intervention for new intakes to be immuned from the catch them young gospel recruiters on Campus.
To a large extent, Allah concerns parents to be up and doing in giving children and wards complete apiritual development. Allah (SWT) says: "Oh you who believe, enter into the fold of Islam in totality and do not follow the footsteps of Shaytan, for he is to you an avowed enemy." The indication feom this Ayah is notbonly for the parents to send out members of family but also paying them un-scheduled and unnotified visit to their place with mission to monitor their activities. This is for the ultimate purpose of fear of accountability alluded to by the Hadith of the noble Messenger. It says: "You are all shepered and shall be held accountable for the manner of pastorage in this respect."
It suffices to add the poetical line bearing relevantly on this isdue. " Train your children in your ways, so that they uphold after you your good legacy." This informs the relevance of the central theme of the following line of ethical poetry: وخير الناس ذو نسب قديم # يقيم لنفسه نسبا جديدا meaning: 'The best of human is he who meets good legacy # but sustains same by chatting a furtherance.'
Summarily, as indicative from Qur'an 39:8 on seeking good counsel and possible taking to the best of them all. These factors include Ignorant person for ignorance is a disease capable of smearing the clients at will. What illuminating advice can be obtained from an uninformed person? The second person to avoid when it comes to taking good counsel is an enemy. An avowed enemy is not disposed to progress of your course. Thirdly, a jealous person is far from giving viable advice because he is jealousy of your progress.
Fourthly, someone who shows off or exhibits the habit of ostentation in approach would always find ways of not only taking glory where he does not work but also wants to be seen on top of most affairs. Fifthly, al-Jabban (a Coward) can hardly give better advice for he is absolutely neither resolute nor confident in any capacity. More importantly, 'Faqidu sh shay'in laa yu'tihi', one can hardly give what is not owned' in implied in this respect. Is it possible for a persistent non-confident learner-driver to teach driving to a learner? Absolutely it is impossible. Semi-finally, al-Bakhil (a Miserly) cannot give good counsel for he sees no reason for that and he keeps everything to himself even an experience or connection.
Finally, Dhul- Hawa (a Capricious person) if asked to give advice is close to misleading client for his ill-intention is not celebrated.
Above all, parents are advised to invest in the four square model of learning without segregation among them. These include Arabic/Sipritual education, Material/Western education, Skill/Trade education and of course Informal/home/culture education. The last one if not well- handled at the appropriately is capable of undermining the whole lot of the rest. Moonlight tales and folklores of the those days take paramount roles in building resilience children. Tortoise and its trickish methods imbues in generations fair dealing and self-concept.
Till we meet during the next edition, thanks for being there at all times. Ma'as Salaamah.
Dr. Razaq Bolawaye Uthman, Imam Ansar-Ud-Deen Society Ipaja Branch Lagos State.
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